So I am finally a somewhat adult and I’ll try to put some sort of positive spin on it (and probably fail). Something was suppose to change like Sixteen Candles, or maybe I would just feel entirely content. I have no idea why the media chose adulthood as a goal to project in my mind. I have no idea why I bought into it. I feel the same as I was when I was seven just laden with more nihilism. I wish I had better news for all of you, but I don’t. In fact, the week following my birthday has been quite terrible. I spent my happy birthday with my friends and we went to see the band Marching Church play. I, as expected, was rather in love with the pretty lead singer Elias and spent the next two days absolutely glowing. I felt quite at ease in close proximity to my friends and the salacious, but drunk, Elias. Their music triggers the desperately deprived egomaniac within me, so I’ve made a resolution to listen to it everyday. Other than that I felt incredibly sickened by my phone and people in general. There is this undeniable yearning to be cool when you are my age. It is starting to make me feel really stupid and really bored. I’m trying to avoid it as much as possible. I guess overall my birthday has made me feel more angst (I didn’t think that was possible). I’ve found myself cursing and brooding in school and recklessly hyper everywhere else. There isn’t any Jake Ryan for me (in fact I don’t even know too many people with cars) and there has been a lot of Truman Capote and Anaïs Nin. My days have been filled with getting rid of things and being dramatic. I guess it is good that I’m starting to hate American culture and whatnot. Our country is becoming more disgusting by the minute and more uncool (as stupid as that sounds). We’ve developed this obsession with trying too hard and acquiring “friends” and things. It’s turning this all into a very meaningless thing, almost as meaningless as turning sixteen.